REIMAGINE YOURSELF

Even after playing Catch Up, we might feel like an imposter. This may be in part because we've spent ample time in the imposter role before- struggling with secret cognitive dissonance while standing tall on unwavering faith in Evangelical circles. Perhaps we just learned compliance to avoid punishment. In either case we weren't able to develop our true selves.

Part of deconstructing is deconstructing ourselves. As an evangelical our identity and self worth are directly tied to our mission. Our soul's salvation is directly tied to this mission: EVANGELIZE, PROSELYTIZE, CONVERT. If we're not succeeding we're beating ourselves up over it. We're putting aside our personal passions or perhaps not giving ourselves space to let any develop, in order to be singularly focused on this mission.

For those of us who existed almost entirely in the vacuum, stepping out into secular communities, particularly intellectual ones, may be difficult at first if we feel our academic development has been stunted.

When we begin to find ourselves outside of God, to give ourselves grace, and to deconstruct faith, trust in ourselves may develop and grow, in many cases for the first time in our lives.

Maybe you recall worrying about the potency of your prayers. Were they more performative than productive? Maybe your cognitive dissonance and your mind yearning for intellectual honesty had you silently doubting your own words when proselytizing.

Imposter syndrome can lead to these habits of questioning our own authenticity, wondering about our motives, opinions, feelings.

In hindsight the time and energy spent just to sucker others into the same toxic theology can produce regret. Give yourself grace. Maybe buy one of those "I'm Sorry for What I Said as an Evangelical Teenager" T-shirts.

But most of all, we must find who we are outside the mission. What values stir our hearts? What literature inspires our minds? What morals instilled by our indoctrinators still feel right in our hearts? Which can we discard because they never really did?

Scientific research provides evidence that humans have an innate, biologically-based predisposition toward knowing right from wrong, which is partly developed through evolution. The human brain has specific networks that are involved in moral reasoning and emotional responses to harm. Cases of mental illness and brain damage aside, we know right from wrong.

We never needed a scary God or a threat of hellfire to keep us in line and dictate our morality.

Trust your judgement.

You are free to search your heart and go by the values that tug at its strings. The opinions that require no influence. That exist in spite of it.

“With or without religion, good people can behave well and bad people can do evil; but for good people to do evil—that takes religion.” Steven Weinberg

Healing Exercise

When faith informs every part of who we are for so long, it's almost like we need to be born again. We are a new creation- a product of stardust and evolution, a critical thinker with an honest heart.

Take some time to explore that person.

✒️ Who are you without God? Where do your priorities lie? What values do you hold dear? What purpose do you feel you can serve?

It's OK if you don't have the answers yet. Finding ourselves can be a journey after faith.

Consider Reading:

The Moral Landscape: How Science Can Determine Human Values by Sam Harris

REIMAGINE YOURSELF

For those of us who existed almost entirely in the vacuum, stepping out into secular communities, particularly intellectual ones, may be difficult at first if we feel our academic development has been stunted.

When we begin to find ourselves outside of God, to give ourselves grace, and to deconstruct faith, trust in ourselves may develop and grow, in many cases for the first time in our lives.

Healing Exercise

Consider Reading:

⬅️BACK TO STEP 1

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