Step 3: HEALING FROM RELIGIOUS TRAUMA

In deconstructing fundamentalist voices and Christian Scriptures, we are afforded the opportunity to break the chains that bound us, identify the scars inflicted, and work toward healing. Let's recognize and address the lasting scars of anxiety, guilt, fear, and self-hate brought on by evangelical theology, and unlearn the lies the fundamentalists told us about ourselves.

The Scars of Indoctrination

The lies we are fed about the sinful state of our souls shape our perspectives of ourselves and our world. They can force our nervous systems to go into an ongoing, heightened state of fear and stress which creates a trauma pattern we may struggle to find relief from even years later. THIS SHAME ISN'T YOURS TO BEAR. THIS FEAR IS A LIE. THIS SELF HATE IS TRAUMA.

I will never forget the first time that I heard my indoctrination framed as trauma. Absolutely everything just clicked. I had been diagnosed with anxiety but not with PTSD. I had imagined it was something I was born with. But my anxiety was handed to me by the fundamentalists. Suddenly I was afforded the opportunity to draw these clear lines. I HAVE RELIGIOUS TRAUMA SYNDROME.

If you struggle with mental health since leaving the faith, you may have religious trauma. This term was coined by psychologist Marlene Winnell. Religious Trauma Syndrome is real, and as more ex-evangelicals seek help for trauma, trained psychologists are in high demand.

With Religious Trauma Syndrome, the trauma is twofold. First the actual teachings and practices of a restrictive religion can be toxic and create life-long mental damage… Secondly, departing a religious fold adds enormous stress as an individual struggles with leaving what amounts to one world for another." MARLENE WINNELL

In my earliest days after leaving the faith I felt traumatized. I missed Jesus and I still had leftover fear. Doubting my doubts was driving me insane. Academic deconstruction helped. It stomped out the fires of Hell and silenced the voice of God.

But I still had a trauma. Academic deconstruction couldn't help me emotionally. For that I would need cognitive therapy. I would need to make those connections between my indoctrination and the distress I still experienced so often in my mind.

In making these connections we can recognize that our anxiety and low self worth are not intrinsic to our character. They were learned and they can be unlearned.

Deconstructing Christianity is hardly a challenge intellectually, in comparison to the challenge of letting go and healing.

There's no shame in seeking help. You do not have to do this alone.