DECONSTRUCTING AND HEALING FROM EVANGELICAL INDOCTRINATION 

Step 1: LEAVING THE CHURCH

When you realize you are no longer comfortable on the pew, for some of us, leaving the church means leaving a part of us behind. Maybe we aren't sure how we feel about God or the Bible yet. We just know that the evangelical Church isn't the place for us. But this means leaving a place of social support. For some of us this means losing a community we have been part of since birth. Our inclusion made us feel special. Our participation made us feel important.

Sometimes we might be tempted to return to the fold. We might miss the camaraderie. We might miss the euphoria and peace we'd feel sometimes during worship. We might be afraid for our souls if we cease to keep the Sabbath holy, just in case.  Maybe we want our kids to have a wholesome community.

Is it wholesome though?


Is teaching children they're responsible for the gruesome death of Christ because of their petty, childish sins wholesome? Is handing them Hell wholesome?

Is it camaraderie?

Is sitting side by side listening to sermons that elicit fear and shame camaraderie?

The community offered by the church is contingent on conformation to the cult. If you start questioning doctrine, or questioning leaders, you're out of the club.

But we get attached to the club. 

We don't get the same warm, fuzzy feelings independently, that we can get every Sunday morning in praise and worship with the club. Understanding the psychology behind the phenomenon reveals that collective experiences have little to do with spirituality and everything to do with how our brains work. Neurobiological things were happening as we raised our voices in praise, activating the same brain circuits as sex and drugs.

"Religion is the opium of the people" and all that. (Karl Marx) 

We were essentially getting hypnotized and brainwashed and sucking on serotonin on Sundays.

But when you're hooked on the feel-good feelings you'd choose them over the doubts if you could. And when you're deeply involved in the church losing that community can be isolating. Even if a lot of them have gotten lost in the political rhetoric typical of today's evangelical churches.

Reach out to friends who won't try to pull you back in. Be assertive but non judgmental, if your hope is to maintain connection with believers.

When venturing into the brave new world, leaving your loved ones behind can be heartbreaking. Protect your peace, but remember you can still love your fundie friends and family without loving what they stand for. Establishing clear boundaries will be important though.

You may be subjected to gaslighting and shaming. Cutting your fundamentalist community off can be isolating if you were part of an exclusive and separatist church community and haven't established strong friendships outside of it yet.

In fundamentalist communities kids are taught to avoid developing strong friendships with non believers. "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. Come out from among them, and be ye separate" and all that.

We can preach at them but we can't be friends with them or date them. We're better and wiser. We're saved and they're doomed. Getting close to them could make us doubt our own faith. Loving them hurts because we imagine they're going to Hell.

This leads to evangelical kids estrangement from their peers in public settings. They often lean further into the vacuum: youth groups, church camps, where they're radicalized further with theology and stand less of a chance of ever breaking free.

But here we are! Free to love who we love, learn about what interests us, love ourselves, and connect with anyone we wish.

You have a right to peace and autonomy in this world. You're allowed to set firm boundaries to prevent toxic theology from continuing to disturb your peace. You are allowed to search your own heart and reimagine yourself.


REIMAGINING YOURSELF

WHAT'S UP WITH THE EVANGELICALS LATELY ANYWAY?

It's an uncomfortable pew to sit on, when the values of Christ and his commandments about compassion and leaving judgment to God are preached some Sundays, but other sermons center on judgment instead.

You are not alone. Many Christians have followed Christ out of the church when they find he has been replaced by a Nationalist agenda.

It's politics, not church, and it has infiltrated most evangelical churches since the political party is so tied to the movement. But how did this even happen? 

WHERE DID FUNDAMENTALISM COME FROM?

Fundamentalism is a product of the Protestant Reformation which stressed biblical literalism.

So is this principle of sola scriptura (scripture alone) the idea of private interpretation of the Bible, empowering preachers to pluck from the pages and twist the words however they pleased.

Early American preachers competed for congregants by using persuasive and passionate tactics to personalize faith and maximize fear.

How did they get so powerful?

Leaving the church doesn't mean you are alone now. You're also not alone in this experience:
CONNECT WITH YOUR BACKSLIDER COMMUNITY

Consider Reading:

The Exvangelicals: Loving, Living, and Leaving the White Evangelical Church by Sarah McCammon


Continue to Step 2

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