A New Salvation

It’s not the typical opinion. Many people are confused by it. But I never mean for my rants against fundamentalist faith and indoctrination of children to target or hurt anyone. I publish work and post publicly about this topic because doing so SHOULD NOT be taboo. Because religious trauma is real and pervasive and I understand it objectively and subjectively.

I have deep love for the believers in my life including those who indoctrinated me. Doing so was an act of love. They had no concept of the cognitive and emotional consequences of wiring a little brain with fear, shame and cognitive dissonance.

But if I can motivate even ONE person to refrain from making these mistakes with their children, I’m going to try.

Society assumes religion is benign or positive, but in reality religion can be very negative. It’s narratives can cause lasting issues with self worth and irrational anxiety. Over the past few years, there has been a notable surge in awareness and demand for therapy specifically addressing religious trauma. 

Discussions around religious trauma and religious trauma syndrome (RTS) are becoming more common in the media, both mainstream and online. This increased visibility helps individuals recognize and label their experiences, leading them to seek help. Social media platforms have contributed to this growth by providing spaces for survivors to share their stories and find community.

Research indicates a significant portion (1/3) of the U.S. population may have experienced religious trauma. Mental health professionals are increasingly developing expertise in treating religious trauma.

Therapists focus on helping individuals examine and challenge negative core beliefs instilled by harmful religious experiences and process traumatic memories and emotions associated with religious abuse, as well as develop healthier coping mechanisms and boundaries and establish a sense of self-compassion and rebuild trust.

Organizations like the Reclamation Collective have emerged, providing support groups, directories of religious trauma-informed clinicians, and community-based healing spaces for survivors.

Religious faith can be really hurtful and harmful. If your experience has been great, I won’t invalidate that. But it is even more important to be mindful of avoiding invalidating the negative experiences of others. Religion shouldn’t get a free pass from criticism. Unfortunately it seems to in the U.S.- at least mainstream Christianity, which gets more and more Evangelical here.

And it isn’t a good look for us. Before the Evangelicals started all their hate against the LGBT community and fear mongering about Armageddon, the Protestants already had this Bible full of horror stories and the concepts of original sin and eternal damnation. Now it is just in your face obvious: the toxicity this environment breeds causes lasting trauma.

So I’ll always speak against it.

Children deserve to play outside on Sunday mornings without a care in the world. They deserve to be taught facts and given grace to grow emotionally.

If you raise your kids in church I’m not attacking you. I’m humbly pleading where it probably isn’t my place. But I feel a duty to this next generation. If we don’t stop this, we will continue to have a traumatized population. I feel a duty to every child still stuck on a church pew. Wondering why their childish sins crucified a kind mind and damn their soul to Hell. Even after discarding those ideas, neurotic guilt and irrational fear can resurface for years.

I’m relieved therapy for religious trauma exists now. It’s my sincerest hope that those who need it most find it.

Through therapy I’ve returned to the church that broke me, just long enough to find that little blonde girl on the pew. I took the Bible from her hands and closed it, took both her hands in mine.

You are good without God. You are enough. You are beautiful and don’t need to be ashamed. You are kind and that’s what matters. There is no Hell.

I held her close and led her out of that building. It threatened to swallow us inside and we rushed, flinging open the glass double doors into the sunlight.

Calling out to her, the congregation crowds the windows. Their voices raise in praise and Tongues.

“Don’t look back,” I whisper.

Her eyes are wide and round as if she’ll turn to a pillar of salt if she dares look back, a Biblical reference I’ve known since I was her.

“I’m scared.”

I point toward the sun, high in the sky now.

Feel the warmth. Stand still on the ground. Let the sun and Earth hold you. You’re right where you need to be. You’re safe.

She turns her face to the sun.

The daydream ends and she is grown. I am grown.

We didn’t make it out that day. I broke free at age 22. No one came to my rescue as a child. No one told me I was worth anything outside of God.

Now I live to tell anyone who might listen. That’s why I criticize religion. That’s why I speak so vehemently against indoctrination of children with evangelical theology.

It’s not a popular idea but it isn’t new and I’m far from alone in holding it.

If we don’t stop this pattern, one third of our population will continue to grow up traumatized. I think we are already paying the price for this trauma as a society. It manifests in all sorts of behavioral issues.

We owe it to our children to do better. We owe it to our society to do better.

But a believer is going to weigh the trauma data against this intangible concept of soul salvation. Saving the soul is always going to hold more weight. Trauma data, on the other hand, is always going to be dismissed:

“Of course you have anxiety. That’s the Lord reminding you to be vigilant. Of course you feel guilty a lot. You’re a sinner.”

This circular reasoning and gaslighting is all done in good faith but survivors are left incredibly invalidated.

I’m here to validate trauma.

I’m here to criticize religion.

I’m here to dismantle and deconstruct.

I’m here for self worth, self love and intellectual honesty.

I’m here for you if you’re ready.

If you’re tired of being told you aren’t good enough. You are good enough. That god isn’t good enough for YOU. You don’t need him to save you.

You can save yourself.